Dead Ends
by Maccan
Summary: Sasuke is a cop turned hooker, thanks to his unorthodox superior. When he meets a homeless Naruto on the job, the selfish bachelor will have to choose between what's right, and what will win him a promotion. [SasuNaruSasu, Adult Themes]


**Dead Ends**

**SasuNaruSasu**

**Rated for non-explicit prostitution, and potentially future chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I was funny enough to write a cute disclaimer. As it is, I just don't own.  
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"Are you sure about this, Sasuke-kun?" 

It was the third time she'd asked, only this go-around Sakura had taken up worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. It's a good tactic, and he applauded her determination, but it's just not doing it for him. So he snorts, and smoothes down the cleverly half-mesh, half-cotton shirt that's discreetly hiding his gun holster.

It's not like he really has a choice, anyway.

When Kakashi (his superior through some cruel joke the gods had been playing on him since he was seven) approached him about an undercover assignment, he'd known there was no way out of it. The man never followed rules or regulations, always half-assing his way through the unimportant things and breaking the law for anything he believed to be 'a serious matter'. This one was one of those serious matters, and it was no exception. There was a new king to the Konoha underworld, and he was running a whore house. Well, a man-whore house.

Kakashi had told him that he would have done it himself, but Orochimaru's tastes ran considerably _younger_ than thirty. And Sakura, his other favorite underling, was too without a penis to even be in the running.

Sasuke knew this was probably violating all sorts of rules, especially when prostitution was strictly a no-no as far as the law was concerned, but whatever. What was a few blowjobs here or there when it came to furthering your career?

Sakura rocked for a moment on the heels of her shoes before giving him a teasing grin, moving her hands to either side of his hips.

"Soooo Sasuke-kun, since you're selling your soul to Kakashi-sensei and becoming a lady of the night... Do you want me to hold onto your precious virginity until you get back?" She met his rolling eyes with her own-- green and full of good cheer and worry-- before sticking her tongue out at his silence.

Her proposition was ridiculous for a number of reasons, not the least of which being that they'd had sex in high school.

"Let's go, Sakura."

She hesitated only slightly before following, giving a small pat to his ass on the way out, letting him know she was behind him. In more ways than one.

They were in a seedy motel-- complete with shaggy carpeting and a permanently lit vacancy sign-- in a less rule-abiding corner of Konoha. Everything had to be perfect and for that Sakura and Sasuke had rented a single bedroom for an hour, giving them time to prepare along with a convincing appearance of whore and customer. It had better be believable, anyway, Kakashi had slapped quite a few thugs (while reading porn, no less) for information on where Orochimaru had connections. Apparently he had men posted all along the route Sakura was taking to drop her partner off at a dark alley. So what if it wasn't the corner that Kakashi had suggested. This one had a 24-hour convenient store across from it, and though Sakura had considered herself to be pretty lenient about this whole charade (her male counterparts would, of course, beg to differ), there was just no way she was letting Sasuke stand on a corner --with so little weaponry, too-- at the mercy of the underworld.

Plus, it was really fun looking at him in leather pants.

Sakura pulled the car to a stop infront of what she'd taken to calling 'the alley of depravity', with her hands only shaking a little as they acted on auto-pilot and locked the car into park. She leaned over, aligning her mouth to his ear, allowing for a pervy silhouette to onlookers and time to talk for the two of them.

Her voice was rushed and scared as she whispered into his ear. She found she didn't much care.

"Right, so I arranged with the girl covering the shift across the street for me to stay there all night. Um, I told her I was hiding from my husband and needed to be in a public place...So I guess if she tells anyone about it I can just say you were my 'getting a divorce' present or something..."

She was doing the lip worrying thing again, and he sighed into her ear, something that caused shivers even if she hadn't felt that way for him in three years.

"Sakura--"

"And Kakashi-sensei said you shouldn't have _sex_ sex until Orochimaru has taken an interest in you, and then..."

She cleared her throat, trying to clear the lump that had obnoxiously formed there. It wasn't fair! Sasuke was only twenty two, and it wasn't fair--it wasn't _right_ for Kakashi to ask him for this. Her hand clenched tightly around his knee and she could feel his frown against her neck. No matter how much bigger and stronger he was than Sakura, that still hurt like a bitch.

"Well, anyway, if a prostitute approaches you, and tries to talk or something you should talk back. I know you hate talking, but most of them probably work for Orochimaru, and he's going to be asking around about you to verify how legitimate you are. So, talk. And I already checked, and no one works this area. So if someone approaches you and tries to get you to leave, don't listen... You're very handsome, Sasuke-kun, and they'll probably want you out of there so it won't affect their own business. Also, Kakashi-sensei is going to pick you up in seven hours, that's six in the morning, so I'll leave at five thirty so no one will wonder about us..."

"Sakura, I have to go."

She nodded, and squeezed his leg again. In a moment of pre-doom weakness, he ruffled her hair before opening the door.

"WAIT! Sasuke-kun!"

Her eyes were wide and frantic, so he stopped on the curb and waited patiently for her to do...whatever it was she had to do. Hopefully not cry.

Shockingly though, she threw a little zip up pouch at him and closed his door herself.

"Make me proud, Sasuke!"

Sasuke scowled at the small cloud of smog she left behind her before unzipping the little mystery pouch.

His eyes rolled.

Inside was a hefty collection of condoms and wet naps.

He sighed and trudged over to the concrete wall of a parking structure, his arms crossed of their own accord; one hand on his gun, the other on his hooker-hygiene pouch.

The gods were really outdoing themselves with this one.

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**AN: Yes. Well. xD I need to stop coming up with plot ideas and writing them when I have zero talent. I probably won't get another chapter of this out, I just wanted to write it lest I forget the whole thing. 8D I know Naruto isn't there, but if there is another chapter that's where he'll be found. This is more a prologue than anything. And I don't have a beta. Hmm. Thanks for reading this far (not that it was terribly long. If there is another chapter it'll be much longer. Prologue and whatnot), and I'd love a comment. Also, I'm not sure on the genre. I try to be funny, I'm afraid I just don't achieve my goal. So no humor. And it's not quite angsty just yet, drama perhaps. Hurt/Comfort?... If there's another chapter the genre will have to change. For now it's going to be the questionable romance and crime. :9**

**Also, anyone want to guess if Naruto's going to be a prostitute or customer :D Not fishing for comments. Guess to yourself if you like. ;)**


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